Posted on August 18th, 2014 | by Leslie

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My new direction

For the past year and a half I’ve been performing and writing as a full-time musician.  I’ve never regretted my decision to leave teaching for a moment, but this new life is not without its ups and downs.

I share a lot of private things publicly, but not all.  Sometimes I choose silence.  If you’ve paid attention to my songs this summer, you’ll have some idea of where I am: in the dark.

There is light.  But in order to reach it again I need to retreat for a while.

I have two more shows this month:

Friday, August 22nd at The Lake Affect (w/ Lorne Allan & Alexander Quail)

Friday, August 29th at The Moonshine Cafe (w/ Danielle Donville, Megan Boni, Chantelle Okel, Gillian Shnurr, Lou Ward, and many more)

Starting in September – and for the foreseeable future – I will no longer be performing solo.  Copy Red Leader is still very active, Pent Up plays when we play, the superband-as-yet-unnamed is rehearsing, and Sinderella will one day take the stage again, but Leslie – such as she is – is taking some time off.  More than some.  At least the rest of 2014.

I need to write.  To write and not memorize or perform.  To write and be consumed and thereby healed.  Not all wounds are recent; not all scars fade.

My fellow musicians and performers, I will still be engaged.

My friends, I will still be there for you as you are for me.

My listeners, I will still be creating and posting and sharing.

But my deeper self and I are spending some time alone.  I may not give you the clear access you’ve had to my heart for the past 18 months.  I may not be able to tell you how I truly am.  If I am aware enough to acknowledge my breaking point, I need to be wise enough to honour the journey that takes me there, and on beyond it.

I promise not to disappear.  Do the same for me.  Reach out; I won’t always remember to do it myself.

We are connected
But each alone
I am the spider in the web of my own consciousness

Love and light among the shadows, my kindred,
Leslie

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8 Responses to My new direction

  1. Leslie, wishing you well in your retreat. I understand the need to pull back for healing. Be in touch when you can.

    I hope someday we will get to raise our voices in song together. Hope you have an urgently peaceful year!

  2. Newman says:

    It’s good to know when to graciously bow out for a while. To sit back and watch the shadows dancing on the wall. Take all the time you need, but remember that we are all here when you need us… just a mouse click away.

  3. Dave Toms says:

    Much love as always, Leslie.
    We’ll see you on the other side.

  4. Tim Fatchen says:

    I can create. I can perform. I’ve never found out how to do the two together. Performing needs full concentration, practice, rehearsing, even anxiety. Creating needs stillness and freedom. I don’t think the two are ever compatible. Better to withdraw for a while, heal, and let creativity well back up again.

  5. Judith says:

    Been there — a number of times. Some wounds don’t heal, you just, eventually, get used to working around them. Time to think, to focus, to work thing through and release your hold on them, and theirs on you is good. Be still and know that others care. Hugs.

  6. Ed and Mel says:

    As one Irish soul to another, do something nice for yourself every day. Love Mel

  7. Hey Leslie. …good for you ! At many points in my own career I have had to regroup and prioritize. ..ain’t no shame girl….it means you are an artist. I have no doubt this is a hard time while starting the transition….but you’re a pretty groovy chuck and while your resting in your truth…we will wait…we are here for you….you’re a talented lovely woman !

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