From the recording 12 Months a Year
Being a chameleon has its advantages. I can hide, I can blend in, I can look like I belong and I'm at ease in my surroundings. But unless I carve out healthy boundaries for myself that remind me how much is too much and how far is too far, I don't even notice that I'm replacing myself with a replicant until one day I can't hide the cracks anymore.
This may sound like a peer pressure PSA, but for many neurodivergent folks it can become a way of life. I don't just mask; I can become the thing I'm imitating. Especially when I want - with everything I am - to be that thing, that person, that way.
Lyrics
I know my friend likes cornflower blue
So whenever I see her I wear this dress
But when I see her brother he likes me much taller
So I always carry my heels unless
There's a drink in his hand on a Tuesday as planned
And I have to change more than my shoes
In every circumstance there's the off chance
I'm gonna lose no matter what I choose to wear
I know my friend likes biking the paths through the city
So I learn to ride along
And when I see her daughter with princesses on her
I know to get ready to sing the song
Even though I'm afraid who I am is betrayed
When I stray very far from the blues
In every circumstance there's the off chance
I'm gonna lose no matter what I choose to sing
You don't know walk-in closets until you've seen mine
A gallery of all the skins I've worn
Choices made and times I've stayed too long in some
You don't know walk-in closets until you've seen mine
A gallery of all the skins I've worn
Choices made and times I've stayed too long in some
That's why they're worn
I know the girl you met at the bar
Is someone you think you know better now
But when I see you coming I'm already changing
My hair and my clothes and my shoes and my smile
Nobody knows how I look with no clothes
Cuz I've never been naked before
And all of my mirrors and all I appear as
Are facets of hope that I'm yours
In every circumstance there's the off chance
I'm gonna lose no matter what I choose
In every circumstance there's the off chance
I'm gonna lose no matter what I choose to say
No matter what I choose to play
No matter how long I choose to stay
In every circumstance there's the off chance
I'm gonna lose no matter what I choose today