This past weekend was FilKONtario. I was lucky to get to go, but the reason I got to go (cancelled tour) sucked. Dozens of people said this to me over the course of the convention: "it's so great you're here! and I'm so sorry for the reason that you are." It was very kind of so many people to feel and express to me and I knew I was cared for. Thank you.
I am privately going through many stages of grief, but during the weekend I was able to keep that process in the background and truly participate - as much as my recovering back allowed me to - in so many aspects of convention life:
- I asked my friends Sunnie Larsen and Eric Distad to play a few songs with me and signed up for a 2x10 as soon as registration opened, so we could rehearse Friday afternoon
- I donated a copy of the 25th anniversary edition of the GAFilk songbook to the auction to benefit FKO
- I bid on (and won!) a handpainted bookmark donated/by children's book author & illustrator Debbie Ridpath Ohi
- I got to debut 2 of my new poisonous plant songs on stage Friday night after the opening ceremonies with Sunnie & Eric, including the song Eric and I wrote together during FAWM
- I hosted a Poisons & Potions theme song circle Friday night and got to hear many lovely songs extolling the things I love (plants and toxins)
- I vended in the FKO Marketplace Saturday and Sunday with new music and new art & jewellery - thanks to Nyxie for keeping me company, Dave Garland for ongoingly checking if we needed anything, and Karen for overseeing the whole market; thanks to Eva, Kathleen, Debbie, Allison, Cat, Ingrid, Lauren, Steven, TJ, Eric, Jared, Heather, Sharon, Liz, Nyxie, Myra, and Joey for leaving tips & buying things!
- I gratefully gained 2 new patrons who got my new Toxicity EP as a thank you (you have no idea how grateful I am for each and every new patron that joins up - thank you SO MUCH Steven and Jared & Alex! Join me on Patreon or through my website)
- I got to share a bottle of whiskey with friends - something I do every con I go to because I have friends who love whiskey as much as I do, and I love sitting around a room just sharing stories and deepening friendships while drinking
- I joined an open filk circle that organically celebrated vulnerable, passionate, therapeutic intensity and personal conviction in songwriting (something my soul LONGS to share with others who also long to share it) and it fed my soul
I made space (and my back allowed me to stay up late) to truly participate and listen to the musical stories of excellent people and wonderful musicians before we packed up, tidied the rooms, ate the rest of the brownies, and hugged each other goodnight. Some of the those hugs were goodbye, and for a long time.
I don't know when I'll get to see some of these friends - any of my US friends - again. It hurts so much. But beneath that is rooted the love that we keep alive between us. I don't take it for granted. I don't take our connections for granted, this mycorrhizal network linking us across boundaries of all kind.
I'll be performing at Keycon in Winnipeg (May 16-18) and having a house concert at Morva & Alan's May 23. More dates are coming as I can book them.
I have begun conversations with many of the Canadians I know involved in music or who have connections to music to find new places to play in Canada. I am actively seeking house concerts and shared venues. Put me in touch with your Canadian people! Thank you to Sean, Judith, Tom, Sue, Phil, Jane, Chris, Morva, Alan, and anyone else I talked to about possible house concerts, filk circles, and contacts.
So grateful to Chris & Erin and the rest of the concom and volunteers who make this con happen!